I would do anything for you
by IllogicalTeddyBear
Summary: Seth and Edward were close. But when Seth Imprints on him, will Edward force him out of his lif or accept that an imprinting is no silly crush? What does Bella do about it? Seth just can't take all of it any more so he does the only thing he can think of and turns to self harm 3 years later, his "bad habit has only gotten worse and Edward is close to discovering his secret. yaoi
1. Chapter 1

I took a deep breath as I brought my hand down to rest against the side of my arm, the small, silver blade pinched tightly in between my fingers. _He will never love you! _One cut. _He only has eyes for Bella!_ Two cuts._ He thinks you're disgusting!_ Three cuts. _He is a vampire, you two are mortal enemies._ Four. Five. Six. Seven. Blood pooled over the thin slices on my forearm, making them seem even deeper, and wider then they truly were. I stared down at my left arm with hatred. 3 and a half years of scars were placed across the expanse of skin, making it look butchered and raw. I hated it! I hated cutting myself. If was disgusting and weird, but I couldn't stop. I was addicted.

"Seth!" my mother's voice called, pulling me out of my thoughts and back into my bedroom. "Jake is here to see you!"

Jake? Oh! That's right, it was Saturday. Jake, Paul, and I were going down to the beach, which usually meant the rest of the pact and their imprints would join us. Glancing down once more, I shrugged and jerked my sleeve back down, wincing as the fabric rubbed against my fresh assaults. I slipped my red-stained razor into a small altoid tin and gently placed it behind a picture of my love that was on my bedside table- of course, for completely innocent reasons. Usually.

"Jake?" She called one more time."Hurry, before they eat everything we own!"

I stopped by the mirror in the hall and plastered on my best fake smile. _Perfect._

"Jake! Paul! 'sup guys?" I said happily. We hugged and fist bumped and said hello. Paul, who was eating a large sandwich that my mom had made, gave me an odd look and swallowed hard.

"Seth! Dude, it's like, really hot today! Why don't you go put on a different shirt? You wear long sleeves, like every day!"

Jake gave me a knowing smile, then grabbed Paul's hand and intertwined their fingers. Paul's head snapped towards him and he smiled. _They look so happy._ I thought with an undertone of bitterness. _I want Edward to hold my hand like that…I want him to kiss me and tell me I'm beautiful, and look at me the way he looks at Bella. Like I'm the most wonderful thing on this earth. _ I was now a bit more aware of the blood from my still open cuts seeping through my shirt sleeves. Jake, who was quick to notice my slipping façade, cleared his throat and nodded towards the door. I just smiled and headed to the car.

The ride to the beach was short. We only brought the car so we wouldn't have to walk back with sand up our ass cracks…and from the looks Jake was giving Paul, sand wouldn't be the only thing up his ass today. I knew they wanted to be alone right5 now and I felt a little bad, but the thought of the guy who was like my brother, in bed, with Paul made me glad I would be preventing any…inappropriate activities.

Jake had imprinted on Paul after Bella made it clear she loved Edward more. He freaked when he realized she would never be his…and Paul was there to comfort him. Paul used to be much louder, and dominate, but when Jake imprinted he seemed to calm down considerably. He hadn't lost all his manly pride though. If anyone asks, he would say that Jake rides him like a bitch, but being a wolf, and having all your thoughts shared with everyone, we all knew the truth… and Leah never missed an opportunity to tease him about it.

_The all mighty Paul! The fierce man! And let's not forget, Jacob Blacks ass bitch! _She would cackle. Paul, who never found this funny, would lunge and growl at Leah but he wouldn't –or should I say-couldn't hurt her, solely because Sam wouldn't allow it. She also constantly reminded him that too.

Paul used to really hate Jacob. Since Jake had imprinted first, Paul had tried to reject him with everything he had. He hated the idea of being under someone rank wise, or physically. And since Jake obviously had no intentions of bottoming, Paul was forced to give in. he looked at imprinting all wrong. He thought it was a way to restrain someone, to keep them locked up and overprotected.

"_I'm a man!"_ he would shout at Jake. "_I don't need to be babysat and controlled like a little pussy!" _All Jake wanted was to keep Paul safe. Paul realized this when his sister had died. Paul and his sister were really close and losing her tore him up. Jake was there, always there for him. Even when Paul would scream at him, punch him, and call him horrible names. I wondered why he did it. Why he took the abuse when he wanted so desperately for Paul to love him back.

"_When you imprint on someone, you will do anything for them. They become your world, your life, your reason for existence. You will be anything, do anything, or go through anything for them. Paul was hurting and he needed a punching bag… It hurt me physically and mentally, but that's what he needed, so that's what I was. I wanted his happiness more than my own. You will understand one day…"_

Jake was right. Not long after that, I imprinted on Edward. I remember the day in painstaking detail. It was December 19th , not long after I reached the appropriate mating age. It was snowing outside and I was all pent up from going to school, I was glad for the winter break. I always loved running in the snow, but something just told me I needed to go running that day. It wasn't my turn for patrol, but I really wanted to anyway. I was dancing through the snow, leaving impressions in the white, fluffy blanket that covered most of Washington in these months. The crystal- like formations floated around me and melted against my warm, wolf fur. My tail was wagging and my tongue lolled out of my mouth and I looked like a true puppy. My attention was completely focused on the white snow, I almost didn't notice him. Maybe I wish I didn't notice…but of course, I had too.

A flash of something sparkly shot my attention across the field and into the trees around me. I moved forward, suddenly cautious of my surroundings when I saw him in a nearby meadow. He knew I was there and could hear my thoughts as I said hello in my mind. My eyes followed his movements as his pale, shirtless, reflective body turned to face me and then, life froze. As he flashed his dazzling smile, my world came to a halt around me.

It was only him. Nothing else mattered and it was like he was the one thing I couldn't live without. I didn't need anything else, only Edward and his perfect body that was forever frozen in time, only his lovely amber eyes that were laced with gentle kindness, only his pretty, pink lips that were now curved into a delicate…frown. Then reality came hurling towards me and smacked me hard in the chest. Edward, my perfect, perfect Edward…was a vampire. He could hear my thoughts. He knew I had imprinted…oh my god. I imprinted on Edward Cullen, my best friend's eternal lover. I studied the look on his face. He looked confused, and shocked, and angry.

_No!_ My inner wolf whimpered. _He is supposed to love me! He is supposed to leave her and love me instead!_

"No Seth. This," he said, gesturing between us with his finger, "cannot happen. I'm sorry, but Bella…"

I turned and ran. Rejection was painful but not as painful as it was to run away from my reason to exist. I wanted with all my being to turn around and follow him like a puppy, even if he didn't want me. I wanted to try and convince him to love me back, but I knew I couldn't. I knew I had to leave the clearing, leave the forest, and leave La Push.

I was gone for days. The pain stabbed my like knives through my chest, but the pain never seemed to lessen. Every time I thought about him, it was like all the knives were twisted, bringing me new pain that made me crumple to the ground. I tried to stay focused because if I let my mind wander my instincts would drive me back near my imprint. My imprint that didn't want me. That didn't love me. I shifted back and let myself fall into the snow. My imprint that only wanted Bella! What was so fucking amazing about Bella! She isn't that pretty and she is like a statue! She has _no fucking emotions!_

I must have said the last part aloud because a teasing, yet gentle voice from behind me called, "I don't think I have ever heard you swear before dog" I froze.

"Emmet?" I asked in disbelief, wiping the few tears that had gathered in the corners of my eyes. What was he doing here?

"What are you…and of course I swear! Wait…why did you come find me?"

" I was out hunting and I came across your sent. It made me lose my appetite!" he then gave a rich, hearty laugh. I used to be confused as to why Rosalie and Emmet were together when they seem so different…but I came to realize that it's because they are different that they need each other. Without Emmet, Rosalie wouldn't be able to (metaphorically) live, being the un-optimistic person she is. Emmet was like that for everyone. He was happy and joyful and could crack a joke in any situation. Life just would be harsher without him.

Cracking a small smile, I got up, and brushed the icy snow off my shorts. Because of the heat of my body, the place where I had been lying down was now shallower and more muddy then the spots around it. It was like a strange lump. It almost made me laugh, it was like some sort of messed up snow angle! Turning back to Emmet, my smile started to fade.

"So…is Edward out here too? Or is it just you?"

Emmet's brow furrowed. And he unnecessarily licked his lips before continuing.

"Uh…no. he said he doesn't want to go hunting for a while. He was worried he might run into you and…yeah."

My face fell and my heart dropped down into my stomach. Maybe it really was in my stomach this time. Maybe the burning and pain came from the acids in my stomach eating away at my –thanks to Edward- now useless organ. It's true. Without Edward, my heart was pointless. It might has well fallen right out of my chest cavity.

"Dude, it's ok! You will move on from this little crush and you will find someone else to love!" Emmet said lightheartedly. So that's what Edward had told them? That I had a silly crush on him? No. no! I shook my head, catching Emmet's attention.

"No…no Emmet. I imprinted on him, I will either have him, or die alone."

The waves broke against the rocky shore and I sat against a beached tree branch. Paul and Jake danced in the water as it shifted around them like they were sold rock. I folded my hands in my lap and stared sadly down at my sleeve- covered arm. I hated this. I hated cutting myself and I hated hiding myself and I hated sitting on the beach in the hot sun, watching two of my best friends splash in the water while I feel sorry for myself! I was going to do it! I will rip off my long sleeve shirt, march into the water, and not care who sees! And I was… … … yeah, that was never going to happen. If Paul saw my arm, he would tell everyone then they would want to know, and I'm not sure how, but I had somehow managed to keep it a secret who my imprint was. Jake and one of my good friends, Desmond, were the only 2 people who knew and I preferred it that way.

Desmond was a wolf that had moved to La Push when he ran away from his pack somewhere in California. He was friendly and nice and he got along great with the pack, until…he imprinted on Sam. That part was hard to work around, since Sam didn't exactly return his feelings, but Desmond never showed the signs of his inner turmoil. Since he wasn't a part of our pack, we couldn't hear his thoughts, so unless you were in the same situation as him you would have no idea how torn up he was inside. Sam knew that he wouldn't give up, that he wouldn't go fall in love with the many girls and guys that worshiped the ground Des walked on (he was pretty attractive, as most wolfs are) Desmond needed Sam but Sam didn't need him. Just like how Edward didn't need me. He had Bella. Lovely fucking Bella. The rotten bitch that had won Edward from me. I sometimes still wondered what would happen if she "mysteriously" got in a serious accident, or if someone "mysteriously" cut the breaks in her truck…_bad Seth! No! Murder is not the answer! –unless…_

"Seth!" Came a loud voice, startling me from my thoughts. I looked, only to see Desmond sitting on the log with me. I had been so wrapped up in my hatred for Bella that I hadn't noticed most of the pack was now cultivating the beach. Giving Desmond a smile, I hugged him. He hugged me back tightly, then grabbed my wrists that were behind his back and brought them around till they rested in his lap. I knew what he was doing, he did it almost every time we saw each other. Glancing back at the others, he turned so that our bodies almost blocked the others and lifted the sleeve that had been stained by small pools of blood. I glanced away from him as he studied the intricate slices on my arm, frowning as he did so.

"Was today a really bad day? You have a lot more than usual and they are also a bit deeper." He asked, turning my arms back into my body and I pulled his into my lap.

"He" I said bitterly, knowing that he knew I was talking about Edward. "- sent me a wedding invitation. I couldn't believe it. I knew they were going to get married and be all happy together, but to send me an invitation? That was cruel." I had gotten it that morning. I ripped it in half, before taping it back together, digging my razor out of the small altoid box, and cutting.

_At least he is happy…_ my wolf called. That was true. Bella made him happy and as his imprint, his happiness was my number one goal.

Desmond only had a few cuts this time. I started checking his arms ever since I found out we shared the same…bad habit. They were for some of the same reasons too. We were both rejected by our imprints, and had lost one of our parents. He had lost his father when he was 9. He was shot at a liquor store robbery when he tried to call the police. My dad had died of a heart attack about 2 and half years ago. That was horrible for me. My dad had been my role model and my hero for my life then one day, he dies. And worst of all, Edward brought _her _to the funeral! My face twisted up in anger with the memory. She was crying for _my _dad while she held onto _my_ imprint who was hugging her back. Then…he _kisses _her. I glared down at the sand so hard I almost expected it to glare back, but Desmond quickly rips his arm out of my grasp, alerting my attention.

I looked around the beach to see what the danger was. I could feel the panic rolling off of Desmond, but everything seemed normal. Paul and Jake were kissing on a blanket near the shore line, Jared and Kim were walking together, holding hands like devoted lovers. Sam was holding a football in his hands, staring right at us with a shocked expression…oh. Oh god. I guess I was being a little obvious while checking Desmond's arms. Snatching my hands away from where they were previously frozen in my lap, I glanced at my black haired friend. He looked a little embarrassed, but I couldn't tell once he became suddenly interested in the way his toes moved inside his shoes. He let his shaggy hair fall in front of his face, not wanting Sam to see his rosy, flushed cheeks. I knew that Desmond wouldn't do it, so I glanced back up toward the beach. Sam shook his head and turned back to Embry and their football game.

"Des, it's ok. I don't think he saw…" I began, but des only shook his head and turned his head towards the calm ocean.

The world was quiet, but my thoughts seemed to be screaming at me. I wanted to run away and I couldn't figure out why, I wanted to find my imprint…but he has a wife.

_Future wife!_ My wolf snappily corrected. I didn't bother replying. Slowly, I removed myself from the log, gave Des a pat on the back and went to say goodbye to my pack. I needed a walk and my instincts were calling me towards the forest. Maybe it was time for a run.

Edward POV

"Edward?" Bella's low voice was laced with happiness and joy when hearing the leaves crunching behind her. When she turned, expecting her perfect vampire to be right behind her, she was surprised to find a tan skinned boy with dark hair.

"Seth? Edward doesn't exactly have time to see you right now… were going somewhere."

I looked at my beautiful future wife and listened through the tiny wolf's thoughts.

_I bet their going on a date…I need Edward. How do you know he doesn't want to see me? I need Edward almost as much as you need a nose job!_

I growled low in my throat at the last thought that went through Seth's head. He turned to look at me, surprised to see me standing silently near him.

"Oh…hey Edward!" I could hear his heart pick up at the sight of me and I tried not to listen to his thoughts about my appearance.

" Sorry…that was a little bitter…actually I'm going to go. I'm not sure why I am here and I didn't have anything to talk about…so I'll be on my way. Enjoy your…date." I felt his wolf sob at the word "date" but I forced myself to let it slide.

I'll admit, I have a soft spot for the pup. He was like a little brother to me for a long time. He stood beside us and cheered us on. He stood up against Sam and his own sister to be there for all of us…but when he reached mating age, he imprinted and…I couldn't lead him on. I knew it was killing him inside but there must have been a mistake! Maybe he didn't imprint and has a crush on me. He will get over it soon… But I knew. It was no mistake and I caused him so much pain. Oh well.

I was about to turn to my beautiful fiancé, but a cooling breath of wind blew his sent in my direction. Something was out of the ordinary. I smelled his blood so strongly…

"Seth?" he stopped and turned to me, I tried to ignore the way his eyes sparkled when I said his name.

"Are you injured? I smell blood?" I could feel Bella's annoyance with me for talking with him so gently.

He looked at me questioningly before freezing.

_Am I still bleeding? I'm so stupid of course he can smell the blood- _realizing I could hear him, he quickly changed his mental directions and started to sing in his head while he turned and ran towards the woods._ —He's a semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action! Do do do dododod do do do dododo! He is a furry little flat foot…_

"Damn!" I muttered under my breath. What is he hiding? What's bleeding?

Bella tugged on my arm. "Eddy! We're going to be late, let's go!" She snapped. I nodded at her, but my thoughts were still on finding out whatever Seth didn't want me to hear.

**Hey everybody! Thanks so much for reading the first chapter. Sorry about the Desmond thing part...I needed a way to introduce the character because he is actually a big part of this story too :D he is an OC but I didn't mold him around anyone except for his name. I was writing that part when my friend Desmond texted me, so I told him he was going to be a werewolf that imprinted on Sam from twilight and cuts himself because of all the pain. He was like "…I just wanted to know if we could hang out today, but that's cool too." :D I love you Des! Anyway! I could really use some cold, hard criticism here! All my friends are pussies and won't tell me what I need to fix! D please, be as mean as you want. My writing isn't that good, but that's why I'm here. To get better, have fun and turn my favorite book characters into horny gay guys :DDD thanks so much! **


	2. Chapter 2

Edward POV

What was he hiding? I know it was probably nothing but…I couldn't help but wonder what made him so conscious of me hearing his thoughts? Bella shifted next to me stretching her legs out on the couch and moving her hand up my thigh. I tore my eyes off of the movie we were barely watching as she began to rub my upper leg. She was wearing a blue button up shirt that was exposing a bit more of her breasts than usual and I couldn't help but assume she did that purposefully. She gave a deep sigh and I knew exactly what she would say next.

"Eddy?" she curled her words sexually as they left her mouth, letting her hand drift even higher 'till it rested above the button on my jeans. "You know, Alice said your family wouldn't be back till really late…and Charlie isn't expecting my home for another…_two hours."_ The last two words were said breathily into my ear, making my eyes tip closed. She did this every time we were alone and her powers of seduction were pretty convincing. I had seen better, but she had this way of making me want to give her _any_ irrational thing she wanted. Her hand moved down an inch and was now playfully cupping my crotch. I groaned, but grabber her tiny, pale wrist and lifted her hand back to where it was previously resting on my knee.

"_No _Bella. You know we can't!" My words were firm, but she could tell my heart wasn't in them.

"C'mon baby, _please?"_ she gave me a sad look and unbuttoned the next few buttons on her checkered blouse, teasing me with the devilish smirk gracing her full, pink lips.

"Uh! Bella… why, _why_ must you do this to me? I want to, I really, really want to but Bells…" I even used the cutesy nickname that she loved, but she folded her arms over her chest and turned her head angrily away from me. "-I could"

"-Kill me, I know! But Edward! I'm ready!" she pleaded, annoyance plastering over her simple features. I only shook my head.

"Edward Cullen, I am marrying you in two weeks and you won't have sex with me? I honestly have to wait for my wedding night?" Oh. That's right. Only two weeks and the girl now straddling my lap would become Isabella Cullen. I wanted to smile, but marriage would mean sex, and hurting the one I love and turning her into an eternally damned monster so she can live forever and watch her family, friends, and the world die around her. Yup, I deserve a fiancé of the year award.

"Yeah Eddy! Get some!" a loud, hearty voice called from the now open doorway. I was almost thankful for Emmet coming in when he did, because I wasn't sure how long I would be able to resist Bella's beautiful curves, but after seeing the look of murder on her face… I changed my verdict.

Seth POV

Jake sat on my bed next to me, eating some sort of sandwich with meat, cheese, pickles, potato salad…and grape jelly? I cringed at the awkward combination. The football game that was playing on my small TV wasn't looking good. We were losing by 3 points and I was slowly losing interest.

"Jake?" I asked quietly.

"Hngh?" he grunted through a mouthful of his strange lunch, his eyes never leaving the television.

"Um…can I talk about Edward? I don't know, I just want to vent for a little." I asked bashfully. I tended to talk about him a lot and I hoped Jake wasn't too tired of hearing his name. He looked longingly at the Football game, but after remembering all the hours I spent listening to his drone on and on about how Paul was so amazing, he nodded and clicked the off button.

"What's up?" he asked after swallowing the last bite of his lunch.

"So yesterday, I went for a walk, and I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going and I didn't have a location in mind but…my instincts just drove me towards Edward's house! And Bella was there and I just… I had this urge to jump on Edward, bite his neck, and shove Bella down a flight of stairs! It was just weird. Did that ever happen to you?" I asked, but soon realized I was talking too fast. Jake was a bit taken back, but thought and nodded.

"Your wolf is naturally drawn to your imprint, his smell is like the sweetest smelling perfume and it takes over your senses. The neck biting –while a bit sexual and kinky- is a sign of claiming your mate. It's a mark that has a smell so no one else can touch him. It's like…wearing a wedding ring at a club." I smiled a bit at the thought of Edward wearing my wedding ring, but I quickly retuned my thoughts to what Jacob was saying. "- and you wanted to hurt Bella because she was touching your imprint. When I first imprinted on Paul, I was out buying some groceries for me and my dad and I came across Paul's scent…when I found him, he was sitting on a bench in front of Hanson's ice cream parlor with his girlfriend –Bianca or something- sitting on his lap kissing him and I… I freaked out. I growled and pulled her off of him and almost phased in front of everyone! Paul wouldn't talk to me for months after that. I would sleep outside his window, and send him flowers and everything… but he hated me. I almost killed myself, but he was driving by the cliffs when he saw me jump and he jumped in after and saved me and…" Jake smiled down at his hands, but I could see the tears gathering delicately in the corners of his eyes.

"Oh…" was the only response I could come up with. Brilliant, right? I patted his hand comfortingly, but he assured me he was alright. Jake traced his eyes with his finger to erase any signs of sadness and smiled brightly up at me as he spoke,

"So! You wanted to tell me all the reasons you love Edward?" He said, putting his crumb filled plate on the carpet and lay down so his back rested against the sky blue softness on my comforter. I nodded and smiled sweetly, lying down next to him as I began. What I didn't notice, was Jake pushing the voice record button on his cell phone while I talked.

Sam POV

"Hey Quill, what is your opinion on Des?" I asked while pausing the Call of Duty game I was playing. Quill, who looked at me strangely for talking about him, cocked his head cutely to the side and let his eyes search my slanted ceiling for an answer.

"Well, he is pretty fuckin' hot and he is funny and nice! And I would totally jump his dick if it wasn't for the whole imprinting-on-you-and-not-having-his-feelings-returned thing" well, if there was one thing you can always count on with Quill, he never hesitates to tell you what he's thinking.

"Thanks…" I said gruffly, about to return to the paused game when Quill asked me a question that had my slightly off guard.

"Why'd you ask? Do you like Desmond back?" what? WHAT? Where the hell did he get that…crazy…strange…completely unreasonable idea! I love my girlfriend of almost two years, Emily.

"WHAT? No. I meant it like…uh…well, does he seem depressed to you? Like…a cutter?" I asked gingerly. Quill looked completely baffled by my question which surprised me. He blinked a few times, and then looked a little nervous.

"Uh… I don't know anything! He told me nothing! If he was a…cutter –which he isn't" quill said hastily, like he was trying to protect a secret. My eyes narrowed and he gulped before continuing.

"-but if we _was_, I wouldn't tell you because he wants it - Uh…would want it to be a secret!" Quill was fidgeting and quickly glanced down at his bare wrist, before nervously muttering,

"Oh! Look at the time! Gotta go!" Then jumping up and moving towards the door. He was fast but not fast enough and I caught up and roughly pushed him against the wall in the now crowded entry way. We were in very close proximity and Quill had suddenly found his wrists held together in my large fist and his thighs pinned flat against the wall by my knee.

"What are you hiding, Quill?" I growled in his ear, trying to ignore the rather sexual position we were in.

"N-N-Nothing! I'm not hiding anything. Nothing at all! Especially about Desmond…or his wrist, thigh, and calf…" He squeaked, fear making his voice shake.

"Say it Quill! I don't have all day! What is the secret?" I yelled, forcing him to spill with my alpha orders.

"I am afraid of the dark! I still sleep with a teddy bear, I have an embarrassingly large collection of gay porn magazines under my bed, and that one time me and Embry stayed over, we had sex on your couch!" Quill rambled, spilling a bunch of secrets, but not the one I already knew.

"Quill! That wasn't what I meant you dumbass, now tell me…wait…You and Embry had sex on my couch?" I shouted after processing what the small Quileute had confessed. Quill nodded, and wormed out of my grasp and hurled his lithe body towards the door, just before it opened and in stepped a tan skinned boy with shaggy black hair and a dark grey hooded sweatshirt. He was looking down as he walked in and didn't notice the commotion at first.

"Uh…hi Sam" he called while looking into the big living room across from us. He searched around after realizing it wasn't occupying out presence and turned to a shocked and nervous Quill. "Oh. Hi Quill." He smiled, but was clearly disappointed that it wasn't me. Quill waved and glanced back at me, and once again tried to get out of the door, but his arm was quickly grabbed by my hand, and he was dragged back into the house, whimpering in defeat. I waved at Des and took in his figure. He had a nice body, and his dark hair made his amber brown eyes light up. A smile graced his lips, but if you studied his features hard enough, you would notice it never reached his eyes. It was the simple things that made him attractive to a lot of people. The way his lips would always be the perfect shade of pink (some suspected he wore lip gloss or something, but I knew it was because of his habit of biting his lip) or the two dimples that would fall cutely between his cheek and his jaw when he laughed. His laugh itself was beautiful and light, and so joyful it could light up whole room in seconds. He was wearing long sleeves again. He always said he wore them in the summer because his mom didn't have a lot of money and the winter clothes were always on sale, and in the winter, it was just practical to wear long sleeves. Believable but not true.

"Gee, Des. It sure is hot today. Don't you want to roll up your sleeve?" I said keeping my eyes trained in the boy in front of me, studying his reaction. First, he looked down at his shoes (another habit of his) and drew his lip in between his teeth, thinking of an answer to my question that had clearly caught him off guard.

"Uh. No. I'm good, thanks. I get really cold." He stuttered out. I let go of Quills arm and he rubbed his bicep where I had gripped him, and went to sit on the sofa.

"Hey! We aren't done with our conversation about my couch!" I shouted. He winced, but nodded.

"I just saved your ass, Des." He muttered, giving me a sharp glare. I resisted the childish urge to stick my tongue out, but failed.

"What happened to your couch? Why is my lovely ass saved?" he asked with a big smile. I grimaced, but moved away from the wall and closer to the Indian boy. He was shorter than me, and only 19. I always reminded him I was 22 and way too old for him, but he would argue that age didn't matter to him.

"He and Embry had sex on my couch, so he is in trouble. And he didn't save your ass, so don't get your hopes up. You're in trouble too!" Desmond processed what I had said, and gave me a questioning look. I pointed to his left arm and his eyes widened. He tucked it behind his back and cleared his throat, but his voice was still cautious and shaky

"I…I don't know what you mean, Sam." Desmond's voice was strained and it broke when he said my name and he lowered his head and pulled his lip in between his teeth.

"Then what are these?" I said folding his wrist over in my hand and tugging up on his sleeve cuff. They cuts where angry and red and started at the base of his wrist all the way up to his elbow. The skin was patched and pink and some of the cuts were clearly infected.

"I'm stopping, so you don't have to yell at me." He looked about to cry as he spoke, knowing I wasn't convinced, so I pulled him through my living room and out the back door to the porch facing the woods. I yelled for Quill to stay put, but knew he would be long gone when I returned.

"Desmond?" I said, as softly as I could. I felt like I was talking to a scared animal, like a kitten or a rabbit, or… a wolf cub. Yup, Des was like a scared wolf cub. He shook, and his eyes were slightly watery, but he looked up at me with a smile.

"I'm fine." He said calmly. I knew he wasn't fine. Nothing about Desmond was fine. His walls were crumbling and falling down and he was trying so hard not to let me know. Seeing him like this made my heart break. Was it because of me? Did _I_ make him do this to himself? Was it because of the imprint? I know it is selfish and horrible of me, but I just can't. I was raised in a household where being gay was unacceptable. My mom and dad were very...narrowing minded about that kind of thing. I put a hand on Desmond's shoulder. He was quietly letting his tears fall now.

"Please Sam. Please don't hate me. I…I couldn't take that. Please just forget that I am so disgusting." His voice was broken and strained and so soft. He carefully leaned in to my touch, afraid I was going to push him away…again.

"I don't hate you, but why Des? It's not…" I took a deep breath, it was hard to continue. "It's not because of the imprint, is it?" I was terrified that he would nod his head, but instead he looked up at me. His eyes were red and tears rolled down his cheeks. He hadn't let out emotion this way and he just couldn't hold it in any longer. He opened his mouth like he was going to speak, but suddenly, his lips were on mine. He was kissing me. Desmond was kissing me. It was desperate and messy, but he needed it. I would push him away, but I knew he needed to have someone accept him for a while. Maybe this was a really bad thing to do, but I felt so bad, so I let him kiss me. His lips moved against mine and he wrapped his arms around my neck, trying to get me closer.

Before I could stop myself, I was kissing him back, and when he ran his tongue along my bottom lip, I opened my mouth and let myself taste his tongue. His mouth was sweet and he groaned when I placed my hands under his ass and pulled him closer. Just like something out of a movie, rain started to fall around us. Damn La Push and its rainy weather! I swear it was fucking hot ten minutes ago! Our kiss got deeper and he jumped on and wrapped his legs around my waist. I was a bit shocked, but didn't try to stop him till he started to grind his hips into mine.

"Des, Stop." I said firmly, letting him down and taking a step back. He was panting and the rain was soaking his clothes. Even with the water running down his face, I could tell he was still crying and his cheeks were flushed from the cold. He was sobbing loudly now.

"Sam! Please, please! Don't leave- me. No. You…you can't!" his words were separated by gasps and sobs. He was leaning against my chest and banging his fists against my hard Pecs.

"Desmond! Calm down. I won't leave yet, but you need to go inside." I spoke loudly, but it sounded weak through the loud rain. He was still crying and it was haunting. I had never seen someone so broken before. His eyes looked dark and desperate and I didn't know what to do. I was suddenly glad Emily was visiting her parents in Chicago for the week, because the house was empty and he could lie down and rest a bit.

Des was now hiccupping and muttering things under his breath, his hands twisted in the thin material of my wet shirt, and obviously wasn't going to walk inside without me, so I scooped him up and cradled him in my arms. He curled into me immediately and pressed his face into my warm chest. He was like a helpless child. He was so light and I vaguely wondered if he was eating. I laid him down on the couch and went to get a new shirt for him. He was shaking once again, but this time from the frigid rain. I looked through my drawers to find the smallest shirt I had, but it still fell down to his mid thighs. I made him stay on the couch while I looked for something for him to eat.

"Des? I asked as I walked back into the room. He was sitting up and fingering the small button on my shirt he was wearing. He wasn't wearing any pants, so I could see all of the shiny pink scars that lined his thighs and lower legs.

"Sam, why did you kiss me?" his voice was sad, but it was level toned and he was no longer crying. I was puzzled. Where did this come from?

"Err…you kissed me." I said, but he rolled his eyes.

"Why did you kiss me back? Do you have feelings for me, or not?" his voice was getting increasingly louder and I was very thankful Quill had taken the opportunity to escape…but now I had to answer him. Do I tell him the truth?

"You were crying…" I took a steady breath and he dropped his eyes to the ground and he released the button on my shirt. He looked like a child, no more than 13, in my big shirt that looked like a dress and a pair of _my _boxers that he was a little too excited to wear.

"Oh…" he sniffed and I thought his eyes would be filled with tears, but he smiled at me. "That's good. Emily would be so upset, and it would complicate a lot of things… and I was actually thinking of asking out this guy in my math class. Anyway! Thanks Sam! I should be going home. He got up off my brown couch and moved quickly towards the door, still wearing nothing but my shirt and boxers, not even shoes. I called after him, but he kept walking. And I'm such a bastard that I let him walk the mile and a half home…in the rain…wearing next to nothing just because I couldn't face my feelings.

**Hey! Thanks for reading the next chappie I love this story and I'm so sorry it took forever to get this chapter out! I'm a bit of a perfectionist with my writing and I've been sooooo busy -.- thanks to my first few reviewers! You guys are so amazing and I'm glad for the positive feedback :D I guess this chapter is alright! Lame ending is lame though! I will try to update faster, but I have to read some book for my English summer assignment. CIAO MY DARLINGS ;D**


	3. Chapter 3

Seth POV

Leah and mom were at the movies and I was completely alone in my house. The silence was cruel and it mocked my loneliness with empty echoes and haunting creaks. It had been raining for the last hour and there wasn't much sign of it letting up. With the empty house and no one to judge my tears, I let my thoughts go to Edward and all of his perfectness. I needed him and the pain weighing down my chest was perfect proof of that. If only I could be close to him in some way…now, he doesn't even want to be near me physically.

I let tears gather in the corner of my eyes and spill over onto my cheeks. I was hunched forward and I lifted my hands to my head and let it rest there. I wanted him to be happy, but _I_ wanted to be the one to make him happy. Not Bella that whore. I Needed Edward physically and I felt the constant tug in my chest to go to him, but I couldn't. He didn't want me.

I forced my mind off Edward, but it then landed on cutting. My arm felt heavier than the rest of me and started to itch uncomfortably. The consoling thought of my razor, my beloved razor, was pulling me off the couch and towards the stairs to my bedroom, then to my dresser, and finally to the altoid box behind a picture of Edward. _Ah._ Just looking at the small box gave me a terse release of endorphins as I thought of the sweet, short-lived, relief that awaited me. The rain was pounding harder now and it cheered me on as I brought the sharp point to the inside of my wrist, dragging it through the skin, deliciously slow. I lifted my arm and smiled at my handy work, before making four more cuts under the first one. Blood was exuding out of the wounds on my wrist. I was relishing so much so in the blessed pain, I almost didn't hear the rapping at the door down stairs. It was quiet over the roaring rain, but my ears were far more acute than a human. A hundred different horror movie- like scenarios were going through my mind, but bitch please…I'm a werewolf.

I opened the door, shirtless, arm bleeding and a very confused look on my face, so I thanked whatever deity(s) were up in the sky, that it was Desmond…who was soaking wet, and wearing only boxers and a shirt that was clearly too big for him, even with the rain making it cling to his lithe frame. He was shivering and his hair was dripping water into his tear filled eyes.

Before I could say anything, he had stepped up to me and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and laid his head against my shoulder. Soft sobs were coming from deep inside his chest and I pulled him inside. Once there, Desmond had moved one of his hands down to cup my thigh and the other was now turning my face towards his. His lips smashed against mine with enough emotional force to stop a train. We did this often. He got to pretend I was Sam, and I got to release sexual tension while giving my hand a brake and it never affected our friendship, so we consider it acceptable.

I molded myself against him and we both walked back so I was resting against the door. He spoke no words. He didn't need to. Everything Desmond needed to say was all translated clearly into physical action, and he was soon sitting on my bed, me naked and straddling his lap while fumbling to undo the slippery buttons on his shirt.

"Seth…" he groaned into my ear, making me shiver. The way he said my name, so needy, so full of pure emotion, it made my hands falter for a second. Usually, he pretended Sam was the one he was pounding into with amazing force, he imagined Sam writhing beneath him, pleading for an orgasm. Not that it bothered me. I guess today, he just wanted it to be different. I couldn't exactly pretend it was Edward because of the smell and temperature of the body pressed into mine, but he was still amazing. Not Edward amazing, but I never failed to have an awesome orgasm. Of course, I had never had sex with Edward, other than in multiple fantasies and dreams but who could have super speed, super strength, mind reading abilities, and _not_ be a God in bed?

Desmond's shirt was finally off and now making a large wet spot on the floor beside my bed, not that I cared, especially when his tongue expertly curled around my nipple and his hand tightly pinched the other. I gasped and sized the bed sheets tightly in my fist. Good lord I loved that.

"D-Des! Oh ughn!" my voice broke and I made a tight sound in the back of my throat, which made him chuckle. He knew how sensitive my nipples were and always teased me about how he could probably make me come by touching _only_ my nipples. His lips traveled lower down my body and met the head of my cock with the slightest of touch. Des let his tongue slip out and trace the small slit, making me shudder in delight. I let out a harsh pant when he swallowed down my length unexpectedly. He bobbed his head twice more before stopping to trace the thick vein on the underside of my cock with his tongue.

"Oh Ah! Ughn…" the sounds exiting from my mouth were dirty and pleasure filled and they got louder as his lips moved down to my balls. He coated each one with saliva before harshly lifting my legs up into the air by his shoulders. I was lying on my back now, and he reached one hand up to let a finger delicately trace the lines of my chest, making me shiver. He smoothed them in between the lines of my Pecs, up my neck to my jaw, and stopped them in front of my mouth.

"Seth" He spoke my name with a smirk to his voice. It was drawn out and slow, and damn-fucking-sexy.

He meant it more as a command, but that was all he needed to say and I understood what he needed me to do. I drew his fingers into my mouth and coated them with saliva. I ran my tongue over the tips and in between the three. They were dripping wet when he pulled them out, and made me tense up as Desmond placed them in front of my blinking entrance. He delicately circled the hole, making it twitch. I tried to push back, but he only moved the fingers away, teasing me devilishly.

"Desmond!" I moaned out his name with a faint whine. "Please, I need you!" I was about to say more, but he pushed one, still wet finger into me with lovely force. I gave a small jerk and waited patiently for a second finger. He worked the first in and out of me a few times, before adding the next. I let my ankles rest on his shoulders while he fingered me, so I had a perfect view of Desmond working his own cock in time with his thrusts. He looked so hot, I was entranced. I didn't look away until his fingers brushed over the chestnut sized bump inside of me.

"Ah!" I yelped and Desmond smiled teasingly.

"There?" he asked, moving his fingers in the perfect way. I was lost in pleasure. I tucked my chin against my shoulder and shut my eyes tightly as Desmond set a smooth rhythm, moving his fingers in deep, slow thrusts. Our sex always started out easy and slow, and then turns hot and dirty and rough. And I love every fucking minute of it.

**Des pov**

Seth was a good friend. We had been since I ran from my home in California when there was…trouble with the alpha of my pack. Some people don't believe in "no-strings-attached sex, but it was so normal for us that it didn't affect our friendship at all. If anything, it made us closer to one another. I liked sex with Seth. He was so sensitive and tight, and would win gold if cock-sucking was an Olympic sport. (I still pray that it someday will be.) It was a release of tension and gave us an alternative to cutting.

I yearned for my razor through the whole, long walk to his house from Sam's, the events of the afternoon playing over and over in my head. Being reminded once again, I quickly pulled my fingers out and lined my cock up with his entrance. I quickly plunged into the tight heat, maybe a little too quickly, because Seth gave a jolt of surprise and let out a series of whimpers, but as soon as I started moving, they turned into rich moans.

"Oh…god Seth! You are so tight!" if his cheeks could get any redder, they would be by now. I rocked into the small Quileute, my muscular frame easily covering his more boyish one. He was making gorgeous sounds and twisted his fingers into the sheets. I was faintly aware of his still bleeding cuts, but I wouldn't let myself focus on the sight, or smell of his blood.

Seth came first, as usual, but I quickly followed, and we were now laying side by side, cramped into his single-sized bed. He was curling his fingers around my shaggy locks of hair absentmindedly while I told him the events of the afternoon. He gave no advice, he just listened. And when I was done, he just sat there and hugged me for god knows how long.

**ED. POV**

Jacob black was on my porch, and he wasn't even looking for Bella. He just handed me a small disk and glared, before turning and walking away. His thoughts filled with nothing I could coherently read. A few glimpses of Seth, some anger, and a little sympathy were all I could grab onto. Putting them together wouldn't make sense, so I carried the disk up to my room, shut the door and put it into my high-quality stereo and listened as Seth's voice filled the ears of every vampire in the house.

**I apologize greatly for the lack of length in this chappie, and the badly written lemon! This is just sort of an Information-to-be-used-in-upcoming-chapters kind of chapter. I know it has been a while since my update, but I have had little inspiration and I have been busy with the new school year, as well as taking geometry. (I had to take algebra twice -.-) I hope this will hold you off for a bit while I scrape my plot together again, and write another chapter. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! Also, a very warm thank you to: Your Angel Matt: I love your story, and was so excited to see that you reviewed mine :D**

**MYchemRomance62442: Thanks! P.S. lurve that band with every fiber of my being! **

**Anon/guest reviewer: review with a name so I can thank yew!.**

**kitiara81: thank you so much! And I luv Des too and thx for pointing out my typo, and I swear, one of these days I am going to get around to fixing that! **

**Top Magician: thx :D and I now LUV the idea of Sam bottoming ****:3**

**Lostxinxblue : you are sweet X) thanks!**

**Giselle Hawthorn: oh stop it, you! ****:3**** thanks so much for my first review! P.S. is that your real name? Because it is gorgeous! **


	4. Chapter 4

**HI GUYS! Thanks for all of the lovely reviews! I got an anon one saying that my last chappie was disappointing length wise (unlike my boyfriend ;P) ((sorry, I just felt like saying that.)) And said that it probably took me only 30 minutes to write. I would just like to clear up, I AM A BUSY PERSON, so the entire time you were waiting for last chapter, I WAS WORKING ON IT! When I started this story, I was on my summer break and had time to write a little every day! Now that school has started, I no longer have that time. On top of school 5 days a week from 8:00-3:00, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I have cheer practice from 4-8:30 and on Tuesday and Thursday, I have debate practice from 3-5:30. Saturday, I have regular appointments with my therapist for my self-injury (I'm a bit of a stress cutter, as you might be able to tell.) and Sunday I have church until 12:00. Along with chores, 2 hours of nightly homework (my math teacher is a psycho.) keeping up a social life, and maintaining straight A's, I just don't have as much time to write! I'm sorry my chapters might be a little short, and my updates less frequent, but I will really try to be better about my time management! **

**Love always, ~Augustine. **

**~BREAK FROM A.N. TO STORY~**

If I could cry, I would be uncontrollably sobbing. Seth's voice was filled with sadness, along with something else, something delicate and breakable, almost… childlike. I could also hear the acceptance in his melodious murmur. He knew it would never be, and it made my still heart break. I knew my family was also listening to the recording of Seth professing his love, pain, and hardships with baited breath, and other then the delicate whispers coming from my stereo, the house –no, the world, was unnaturally silent.

Apparently, I didn't understand what in imprint was, exactly. I flipped delicately through the pages of my father's well worn book. From what I could understand, the book did have information on werewolf mating behaviors, and included a chapter on imprinting, but was written in archaic Latin, something I had only barely begun to study. The text was also badly smudged and the pages horribly yellowed, even with my vampire eyesight, I could only make out a few words. I decided the internet might be a more worth-while point of reference.

I opened my laptop and waited for the internet browser to open. I drummed my fingers against the desk rhythmically. I guess I had put too much force behind this absent-minded habit and had made four small dents on the desk where the pads of my fingers had come in contact with the wood. I snapped my hand back to my side and gripped my knuckles tightly in my other hand. Why was I so agitated about this? I guess I was just apprehensive about having to deal with all this Seth-business only days before Bella's and my wedding. She was currently visiting her mother and step father, and then returning with them two days before the ceremony It was two days into the week without her and I was missing her terribly, but it was nice to be able to hunt whenever I felt like it, and have my night's free to spend with a book or five. The internet was open on my laptop, but I hesitated with my mouse over the search bar. What exactly did I want to know? I wanted to know why Seth was so in love with me! Why I was the center of his whole universe. Why my life mattered to him more than anyone else's in the world. Why he was so saddened…so broken by my rejection and why he hadn't told me that the simple words "No, Seth" Had a horrid, ripping, tearing, and shattering effect on his heart. And why, even if it caused him physical and mental pain in levels I could only imagine, would he refuse his overwhelming instinct to be near me in. And what, in God's name does my rejection do to him. But, alas, I didn't know how to put any of that into simple words. I simply typed in "werewolf legends; imprinting."

Hundreds of websites came up. I clicked on the first link I saw, hoping it had helpful information.

"When a shape-shifter imprints on a specific person, he becomes unconditionally bound to them for the rest of his life. When it happens, the experience is described as being gravitationally pulled toward that person while a glowing heat fills him; the connections of everything else become severed, or simply secondary, and only the one imprinted on is left to matter, leaving the shape-shifter with a deep need to do anything to please and protect the person.

Imprinting occurs only after a wolf's first phasing. It can happen with anyone, regardless of previous personal feelings. Imprinting can't be forced on anyone, no matter how much the shape-shifter may want it, but it also can't be controlled in the opposite sense. When wolf is rejected by his imprintee, although it is unusual, can cause serious and life-threatening pain and grief. He will be anything she/he may want or need, making rejection extremely unlikely. Should it happen, however, it is usually a case where the imprinter is what the imprintee needs, but is still not what they may want.

It is implied that once a shape-shifter imprints he will be able spend the rest of his life aging alongside his imprintee once he is able to quit phasing. It is also implied that should the imprintee be long-living or immortal, the imprinter will live alongside him/her as long as he can phase every so often. A wolf and his imprintee are destined to be together. They were "created" for each other, therefore, making a perfect match."****

I closed my computer softly. I didn't like what this website had to say, but it all made sense. And I knew in my dead heart that I needed to see Seth.

It was late Saturday afternoon, so I figured he would be home. I was apprehensive to knock on the door. What if Leah or Seth's mother answered? Did they know all the pain I was causing a dear member of their small family? Would they hate me? Did Seth hate me? Knowing all of the risks I was taking, I gingerly knocked twice and waited, holding my breath. It was a silly thing for a vampire to do, but it was a habit left over from my short, seventeen years as a human.

I heard him approach the door and I got ready for him to open it, but I wasn't expecting the gasp the escaped my throat when he opened the door. Seth looked older, more refined, and in the two years I hadn't seen him, he had only gotten lovelier. His face had narrowed and become less boyish, but he still looked sweet and innocent. His wide, rich eyes sparkled with curiosity and had gotten lighter, brown mixing in with the night-like black. His lips were parted and flushed with the perfect shape of pink. Seth's skin was smooth and luminescent and his cheeks had a natural red glow to them. His shoulders were muscled and firm, but not at all overwhelming his small statue. His jaw was tight, and his neck had been arched just enough that I could see the majestic sculpting of his chin. His sweatshirt was a bit too tight on his body, and I could trace the lines of his muscled chest with my eyes. I watched his mouth curve into a perfect O when he sucked in a breath.

"Edward."

Seth's house was small, but not uncomfortable. It had a cozy feeling that filled you with warmth and made you smile, nothing akin to the stark white walls and giant, exposing windows I was used to within my own home. I was perched on the edge of his couch, watching the wall in front of us. He sat next to me, but not close enough so for us to touch. I could hear his heart pounding rapidly in his chest. Seth was trying so hard to control his thoughts and keep his emotions and actions in check.

"Seth?" I spoke cautiously, but I could still feel him jump when I said his name. I knew he was listening, but not a word was spoken, or a glance exchanged. We both stared straight ahead, neither one of us willing to be the first to give in and make eye contact.

"The last time I saw you, was at the funeral. Why…since then…doesn't that hurt you?" I was now facing him, but he didn't look towards me. He nodded once slowly, but dropped his eyes to his lap, and let his head follow.

"Because… you don't want me." his voice was soft and laced with a small sob. If I was anything other than a vampire, I wouldn't have heard him say it. I felt my heart crack in two when he said this. He looked like a wounded animal. I felt his overly hot body silently sobbing against my chest as I hugged him. I couldn't help myself. Seth used to be like a younger brother to me, and I loved him, but it pained him that I didn't love him in the way he wanted me too. He kept crying and I rubbed his back. He broke down the wall in his mind, allowing me to freely read his thoughts, but I didn't. I would let him tell me if he wanted to, but those things were meant to be private for him. I smoothed his hair under my cool palm, and the other rested against his cheek while I cooed to him like he was a small child. I was the source of all his pain. I was the one who made him like this… I did this.

And I hate myself for it.

Seth eventually fell asleep in my chilled embrace and I carefully picked him up. He weighed nothing in my supernaturally-strong arms, but I was still slow as I walked him up the stairs and to his own room. I opened the door and a well of his sent hit my nose. Usually, the smell of dog would make me gag, but Seth smelled… almost… nice. He had a unique sent that matched him perfectly. It was woodsy and manly, but not in a harsh way. It reminded me of pine trees, clovers, green grass, fresh bark and crystal water. The smell of sun was mixed in somewhere too. Yet, he still smelled of wolf. It was so pure, so clean, that it could only belong to such a gentle soul.

I set him down on his bed lightly. Such an action made me think of what this would look like out of context, but I meant it as an action of care, and somewhat parental, not sexually or romantically at all!

He had a small picture of me on his bedside table. I guess I should have been creeped out, but it seemed so natural for him to have a picture of me. I studied the picture carefully, remembering the day it was taken. Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmet, Rose, Jacob, Paul, Seth, and I had all taken a trip to San Francisco for Bella's birthday. We waited a few months until it was December so we could be out in the overcast during the day. I was seated on a trolley and looking away from the camera, so you could see mostly my profile. A bit of sun was shining on my face, making it shine in the slightest. I was laughing at something when he had taken the picture, so my face was frozen in a happy smile. I could see why he liked the picture so much.

I picked it up gently, not wanting to damage it in any way, when I knocked something off the dresser that seemed to have been hiding behind the picture. It was an Altoid tin. I picked it up, but it didn't smell of Altoid…it smelled like blood. Curious as I was, I flipped open the lid, and resting on a carefully folded tissue was a razor. The kind you get from an x acto knife. I turned over the container and let the small object fall in my hand. It was stained around the edges with blood. I started to run my mind over the possibilities to why it was there. Was he a coke addict? Did he accidentally hurt himself and had to replace the blade to his x acto knife? Was he a serial killer of small forest creatures? No. No. and I don't even know where I got the last on from. Could it be from…self injury?

I bit my stone-like lip and glanced at the sleeping boy. He seemed peaceful, so I walked over and tugged slightly at the sleeve of his left arm. I had barely moved the fabric and I could already see scars. My eyes flickered back to his face again and I pulled the sleeve up higher. There were tons of criss crossed scars and cuts lacing his skin. And that was only half was up his arm. I pulled my hand away and lifted it to my mouth that was hanging open in shock. Seth was a cutter? I took a step back and sat in the chair beside his desk and waited for him to wake up. I still needed my questions answered, and I just added about 5 more to the list.

**Hey guys! Thanks for reading! . I'm sorry it's short again but I will try to make the next chappie longer. I appreciate every single one of my readers, so please leave a review telling me how I did! I feel like this chapter was more boring :/ sowwy! But next chapter is going to be wayyyyy more interesting! **** I got most of this from a few actual websites and pieced together things that went with the story . so, NOT MINE **

**Thanks to my reviews for last chapter:**

**Top Magician!**

**Your Angel Matt**

**Kitiara81**

**Anon reviewer**

**Azazel Lockheart **

**You guys make my day thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok ok, I know, I'm a terrible person. I hope you don't hate me, because you (I hope) will really like this chapter! I had fun writing it :D**

Edward was cold in every way possible. Not only did his skin feel like ice, but the stare he was giving me chilled me to the bone. He sat across from me with his arms crossed tightly, glaring into my eyes. Every time I would look away, I would accidentally have my eyes land on the sharp metal in my lap, or on Edward's crotch. Which was more awkward; I didn't know. He was waiting for answers and I knew exactly what he wanted to know…but he had yet to voice them, so I used this as stalling time. Maybe I could pinch myself really, really hard and wake up… but Edward would think I'm trying to harm myself and tie my hands behind my back. –not that I would mind a bit of bondage in any other situation…

"Seth!" Edward whined, hearing my last thought. I just barely resisted the urge to smirk.

"God, just talk to me Seth!"

I shook my head.

"Please?"

Another head shake, this time harder than the first.

"Why?"

This time I spoke, but it was barely more than a whisper. "Why what?"

"Why...Why do you do this to yourself? Why don't you heal immediately? Your wolf powers should do that…why didn't you talk to me instead of hurting yourself? How long have you done this? Was the only reason because you like me? Seth you can't so this over something stupid as a crush-"

I growled lowly when he said this. He didn't understand.

"-Did you do this to get my pity? So I would notice you? So I would care for you the same way I care about Bella? Seth! This isn't the way! If you wanted my attention so bad then you should have-"

The low growl that rumbled in my chest became an ear shattering roar that ripped out of my throat as I leapt out of my chair, sending it backwards while my delicate, beloved razor flew gracefully to the floor and landed with a click that seemed to echo in the silence that followed. Edward was balanced in a low crouch, a shocked and threatening look on his face.

"You wouldn't understand. Think of how much you love Bella; multiply that feeling by 5 and that's how much I love you. I can't explain the loneliness in my heart to someone who has never felt such a thing. Desmond is the same way. Sam rejected him and he lost weight, harms himself, refuses to eat more than a few bites of food…it is so painful he WANTS to die, but we, as wolves, aren't allowed to die! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE? TO WANT TO DIE AND YOU CAN'T?" I was sobbing now. Tears were dripping from my chin and my throat was tight and sore from yelling.

"What- what do you mean you aren't allowed to die?" he spoke slowly, as if I was going to be set of by another sound from him.

"After…Jake imprinted on Paul, he was rejected, and…he tried to commit suicide. Sam ordered that we can kill ourselves. He didn't want something like this to happen… sometimes I find myself hoping that I will just cut deep enough, loose just enough blood that I can get around Sam's rule."

"oh." He spoke in a tone a bit less cautious, but still gentle. "But…why do you bleed so much… I saw your arms and you have so many and they are still there. Why…why don't you heal?"

I almost didn't want to answer. I knew why, but it was difficult to figure out. I couldn't exactly ask the elders…but I didn't want Edward asking my pack.

"Because…my wolf doesn't want to heal them. My wolf is the only who heals all my injuries…but because I do them purposefully…my wolf doesn't recognize the cuts as wounds…so…nothing happens." I spoke quickly as I felt Edward's stare to the depths of my core, and it sent chills down my spine. I turned to my bed and sat down slowly before rolling onto my side, facing away from him.

"Do you…really feel like dying because of me?" his voice was smooth, but I could tell the words troubled him. I nodded and he sighed.

"Why do you do this to me Seth?" I only shrugged. He picked up my razor, the relief of all my pain, and crushed it between two fingers.

**Sam. Pov**

I sat alone at the bar. People walked by me, and often stop to chat, but I shrugged them off and kept drinking. I couldn't even remember what I was drinking, but over the buzz of the alcohol, I didn't care. I tilted my head back as I downed the rest of the shimmering liquid in my glass. It was bitter on my taste buds and stung my throat and drowned my thoughts in a hazy fog, like being underwater. I picked up my wallet and flipped it open the best I could with my delayed motor skills. Only a few ones left, nothing close to what I need to buy another drink.

"fuck." I slurred. I could still think, and needed more alcohol. I didn't want to be able to remember his name or the address to his house. The way his hair looked when it was wet, or the woodsy scent of his skin. The way his eyes shined when he smiled and the way his lips felt against mine. I could still see the look in his eyes when he saw me with Emily and how miserably he tried to hide his pain. I could remember his face when I made him cry and how cute he looked in my oversized shirt. His scrawny frame was so sad compared to the rest of us wolves. When he laughed, it was like the whole world stopped to take in the melodic sound. I could remember how he sang off key in the shower and the time he tried to bake thanksgiving dinner for the pack and burned everything; including the microwave mashed potatoes. I remember the names of his favorite bands and the color of his favorite t shirt; green because it made his eyes glow and looked beautiful against his copper skin. I groaned loudly.

My thoughts were getting clearer and I could drum my fingers more quickly. The high temperature of my body was burning through the alcohol buzz. I groaned and lolled my head back, praying that someone would come buy me a drink. Almost immediately my prayers were answered.

He had gorgeous marble skin and a devilish smirk. He was clothed in tight jeans, a dark blue shirt, and a tight, black jacket. Sunglasses hid his eyes and stubble graced his chin. His hair was messily spiked and I could tell, just by looking at him, that his body was that of a god and his ego was equally as righteous, but the thing I was most interested in, was the glass of green liquid in his hand. He chuckled.

"You look like you could use another drink." He spoke, his voice sultry and alluring. I nodded and took the drink from him and tipped it back into my mouth. It was strange. I couldn't exactly tell what it was, and had a bit of a chalky after taste, but I accepted it.

"I'm Demitri" he said, moving behind me. I was a bit worried, but my thoughts began to cloud over, and I began not to care.

"S-Sam." I replied, gasping as his lips began to crawl their way up and down my neck,

"Sam? How cute." He drawled, than let his tongue flick up to my ear, sucking gently on my ear lobe. I then realized how…cold he was… like he was made of ice. I gasped and arched up, trying to get out of the vampire's grasp, but he held my arms by my side with a firm grip.

"You will stop struggling one that drug kicks in. I added about 6 times more than I would for a human, just to make sure our fun will…last." He said with a chuckle. I whimpered as I began to feel hot, like I had just sunken into a hot bath, or was lying on inky asphalt on a rare sunny day. Or like I was burning…it was so uncomfortably hot now, I could barely stand it. I felt not only hot, but dry in a way, wanting –no _needing_ something, anything that would quench the ever growing desire that filled my mind and my blood and my lungs and –I noted- filled my lower regions. I was going to die.

The vampire shook his head and smiled against my skin. "You won't die yet, little one. I like to play with my food before I eat it, and I'm absolutely _starving_." With that, I was pulled from the establishment and dragged to someplace dark. I couldn't see, and through the powerful drug, my senses weren't nearly as sharp. I was gasping for breath now. My face was flushed and I let out a moan every now and then. I felt Demitri's arms either side of my head as he leaned in close to my ear and spoke.

"Have you ever been bitten by a vampire before?" I shuddered when he asked this and quickly shook my head no.

"Good" he said, "I'll be the first to taste your blood." And with that, he sunk his teeth into my jugular.

I let my jaw fall open at the first sharp pain. The pleasure soon followed. I gasped and moaned he began to drink from me. He let his hand reach down and palm my cock through my cargo shorts. I could feel the push through my entire body as the ruby liquid was sucked through my neck.

"Dog, you taste amazing" he moaned against my skin. I ground into his hand and whined as his teeth sipped from the puncture wound. Suddenly, my vision was covered and his hands were gone. Only a screeching sound was heard, before I was pulled into an awaiting car.

"Desmond?" I finally croaked. He glared at me, before turning his attention back to the road.

"Des, it hurts…oh god! Make –make it stop." I was barely aware of how crazy I sounded. Des didn't know I was drugged, and that was dangerous. Very dangerous. I dropped my hands into my lap and let out a moan as they brushed my ultra sensitive crotch. I saw Desmond's eyes snap towards me, hearing the lewd noise. They widened as I began to rub my cock through the material of my shorts, letting out wanton gasps. I could hear him swallow next to me, the scent of arousal –now both his and mine-heavy in the air. I growled in frustration. I needed more contact.

"Des..." I panted "I need to…I can't take it anymore! Please… can I?" His face reddened, but he nodded, understanding what I was asking. I heard him let out a faint gasp as I unzipped my shorts, pushing them down to show my tented boxers, a large wet spot already forming. I traced my finger up the outline of my large member, shuddering at the light touch. My fingers reached the waist band and I let my thumbs slide under the elastic. I lifted my hips and shimmied the tight grey boxers down as well as I could. My cock, in all its dripping, uncut glory, sprang up and bounced as it was freed from the restricting material. I let out a sigh of relief as the cool air hit my heated flesh. I glanced at my counterpart, who blushed and squeezed his knees together, hiding his all too obvious arousal.

Desmond looked so innocent and sweet and prude, but I knew his type. The stayed silent and docile and let you dominate, until you hit the mattress. I would bet anything that he tops in bed. He probably likes it kinky and rough. Handcuffs and whipped cream and cock rings and shit. I began to slowly stroke my fingers up and down my hard erection, never taking my eyes off his face. I knew he could hear the wet sounds I was making as my juices fell onto my –now quickly- moving hand. He gulped, before opening his mouth again and letting his tongue slip out to wet his delicate lips. He caught one between his teeth and rolled it before releasing, and sliding his wet muscle along the back of his lower teeth where it caught. His cheeks were red and his chest rose and fell with every short, panting, breath. I bet he loves his mouth fucked. God wouldn't that be hot. Desmond on his knees, in front of _me_, taking my big cock down his throat hard and fast. Swallowing every drop of my essence as I released into his mouth, moaning his name. I let out a hard grunt and sprayed my hand and chest with milky fluids. I leaned back and glanced at Des. He was gaping like a fish, and staring straight at me.

"I...I'm sorry." I started to apologize, but he shook his head.

"Sam…you…you said my name." He stammered, pulling the edge of his lip between two teeth. I did? Why wasn't I bothered? Was it the drug? Of course, it had to be the drug. Speaking of such drug, even though I had cum only minutes ago, I was already hard and ready. I groaned in annoyance.

"Want…Want me to help you with that?" a small voice asked from beside me. We were in front of his house now. I glanced at him, then down at my crotch, and gave a Cheshire grin.

"Hell yes."

**Oh mah gawd! I'm sorry that took so Long! Thanks for being so patient! I love you all so much. So, comment and tell me what you thought! I might be persuaded to write a juicy smex scene next chapter! I promise I will get the next one done faster. Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

Sam pov

I arched my back off the bed and let out a long groan. Desmond's tongue was hot and wet against my aching skin.

"Oh! God! Fuck! Yes…" I hissed as he brought me deeper into his greedy mouth, that devilish tongue swirling around my shaft. Remember when I said that he probably loves to have his mouth fucked? I was right. He looked up at me through his eye lashes and gently brought my hand to the back of his head. I almost couldn't react. I was in Desmond's house, on his couch, while he sat on his knees, on the floor between my legs. My cock was hard and hot in his mouth and he practically just _asked_ me to fuck his throat. I could have come then and there.

I nodded a yes, than slowly pushed his head down, until his nose rested against my shaved skin. –yes, I shaved. He flattened his tongue against the underside of my dick and I quickly jerked my hips back so only my swelled tip remained between his lips. His wet tongue slurped around my dick. I didn't think anyone could give a better blow job than the ones I regularly got from Seth, but this was the most amazing head I have ever gotten. I shuddered at the feeling. I entered his awaiting mouth again, and again, and again; gaining speed with each thrust of my hips. Desmond closed his eyes and swallowed around my cock. The feeling can only be described as fucking magical. I was panting hard only seconds later, already feeling the pressure start to build up in my abdomen. I gasped as he let his teeth peak out and graze my cock lightly, the feeling sending shivers down my spine and waves of pleasure rolling through my core. I wanted –needed more.

"Ah! Oh…ohhhh D-Desmond!" I moaned loudly. God I was thankful he lived alone. He smirked up at me, before detaching his lips from my soaking member and crawling up to sit on my lap. He faced me and leaned in close to my ear. He licked the outer shell and ground against my lap.

"Did that feel good, baby?" he whispered, biting down on my earlobe. I moaned and nodded violently.

"and do you want more?" Again, I nodded.

"Hmm…I bet you really want to fuck this tight, hot ass…" he ground his bare bottom against my dick, the drugs still in my system made the sensation all the more tempting. I growled in frustration, grabbing his hips roughly, -ready to impale him on my thick cock. Ready to hear his screams and moans… he smirked again, but grabbed my wrists and forced me on my back. He sat up so his hands were against my chest and his legs were straddling my hips. I was shocked at how strong his small, lithe frame turned out to be. He stretched forward so he was laying on me and ran his hand down my chest to the place where my aching cock stood. He gripped it with his entire palm and kneaded it a few times, before letting his hand dip down and cup my balls.

"You're my bitch tonight, Sammy" he whispered against my hot neck. Blood was pumping through me at a fast rate and I was getting light headed. I needed to come. I then processed what he had said. I was gonna be his bitch…he is gonna top me…his dick was going to pound my ass, moving at inhuman speed with toe-curling force…and I am gonna love it. Any thought of Emily was so far from my mind, I would happily let him fuck me.

"Heh. I was right" I snickered lightly.

"About what Sammy?" he replied sexually, sliding down my body 'till his tongue was resting over my bellybutton. He licked over my stomach, tracing the contours of my body with his wet appendage. It made me shiver. All of this was so new and exciting.

"The-ohh- I was thinking in the car that you seemed like the type to get really dirty and top –Ugh! Yess!- in b-bed!" I spit out while he sucked one of my balls into his greedy mouth. The pressure in my abdomen was building, and I could feel the tightness in my thighs and toes. He lifted two fingers and tightened them around the base of my cock, preventing my release. I yelped like a puppy and twisted my fingers in the bed sheets.

"Hmm…were you thinking of my as you stroked your hot, thick, dripping cock? Seeing you toughing yourself turned me on so much, baby. God I love having you down my throat…do you like that Sammy? Me on my knees, taking you in my mouth hard and fast?"

I thought I was about to die. My cock was dripping so much. Desmond's finger was tracing around my entrance, making me whine. I really wanted him. I turned my head back and forth, clenching my teeth.

"Des- ohh!- stop teasing!"

I wish I hadn't said that, because he shoved his two fingers into me fast, I whined and arched my back off the bed. I panted hard as he started to move them. It hurt, and I was a bit confused, this was supposed to feel good, but it just felt strange.

"I'll find your sweet spot soon babe. Relax for me like a good boy, kay?"

"my what?" I panted. He smirked.

"your sweet spot. It will feel so amazing, just wait."

"I thought only girls had –OH GOD!" He must have found it, because I swear I saw stars. It was pretty amazing. I snapped my hand over my mouth to stop my moans. He rubbed against that one spot, making me squirm. He slipped his fingers out. I was about to beg him to put them back in, but he leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"I'm gonna make you scream baby." I could feel his hot cock dripping against my entrance. I had no idea what to expect and was a little scared, but there was no doubt in my mind that he was short of the truth.

" A-are you gonna be gentle?" I asked, trying hard to conceal the tremor in my voice. He gave a confident smirk and moved so his fingers tightened around my hips.

"I know that 'gentle' isn't really what you want."

He pushed himself inside of me with a single thrust and I saw stars. Pain shot up my spine and radiated down my legs. I felt tears threaten to spill. The pain was incredible but behind it I could feel the traces of pleasure begin to grow. The feeling of being stretched over him, I felt full and…complete. Is that cheesy to say? But it was true. I looked up to see his face in pure bliss. His jaw was clenched tight and his teeth ground together. His eyes were hooded and dark. He flicked his tongue out from behind his clean, white teeth and traced his upper lip. Damn that wolf is sexy. I pushed back against his member, giving him permission to move. And he did. He angled his next thrust to brush past that spot. My hips rolled and I let out a whimper. He grunted in pleasure.

"Ugh! You...you're so tight!" he thrust faster, making me let out short pants. I began to feel lightheaded when he lifted my leg and threw it over his shoulder.

"Des…Ugh! Harder! Please!"

He complied. The sound of our smacking skin filled my ears. Dear god this was so good. I couldn't form a coherent thought if I wanted too.

"mmmmn. You like it hard baby?" he whispered in my ear. My mouth fell open even wider. He bit down on my ear roughly.

"oh. Oh god yes! Please…don't stop!"

My toes curled in pleasure and my head flipped back. The springs beneath us creaked with our movements. He leaned over me and took my nipple into his mouth, biting and sucking. I gasped, loving the mix of tingling pain. Maybe I'm a masochist. I don't think I care. I could tell Desmond was getting close. His grip on my thighs tightened yet again and somewhere in my mind I hoped they would leave bruises.

"Uh. Sam!" he reached a hand up and gripped my leaking shaft. He jerked me quickly, coaxing me towards my climax. My chest ached and my stomach tightened. I could feel the tightness of my muscles down my legs. My hips lifted higher off the couch as my neck strained with a shuddering gasp of Desmond's name, I reached my second climax of the night.

"Sam!" he shouted, filing me with his essence, before pulling out and draping over me. I was exhausted and I let my eyes fall close as I fell into a sleep.

**-sigh- august is unimpressed with this chapter. It is very short and I just can't write good sex scenes. Des said it's because I'm too innocent…but that's clearly not true. If you have any pointers about writing good smut, please share! I hope you liked this chappie and will leave a comment telling me how I did!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A new chapter for all you wonderful people who favorite/ follow/review. First on the agenda today, I got an anon message saying he and or she thought this story would be a good mpreg story and asked if that was where this was going. In reply, no. Sorry. My views on Mpreg are that there are two ways the story can go. Wow-this-is-really-good or OMFHJKLMNOP THAT WAS FRICKEN HORRIBLE WHAT DID I JUST READ? IM GOING TO GOUGE MY EYES OUT NOW. A story I write would most likely be the second. However, there are a few good mpreg stories on FF if you look hard enough. My second point I was going to make is that I really love suggestions from y'alls. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and I do take them in consideration! Also, I would like to apologize for a huge typo last chapter. You probably know which one I'm referring to. No, Seth doesn't suck Sam's dick. I don't even know how I confused Seth's name and Emily's. It was late and I was typing very fast. There are many typos in this story, but I'm a human being and I make errors that I sometimes skip over while editing. Lastly, if you're still here reading this, thank you for the support about the AN I posted. I think I will continue this, but am sort of going to outline the plot for a story I'm thinking about now. **

**-line break from AN to-story-**

_**DES pov**_

_The pillow my face was roughly pushed into smelled of him. Sweat and fur and something else utterly vile. Tears had no distance to fall as they were absorbed into the pillow from my eyes. His hands moved greedily over my skin and making me shake. I felt dirty and disgusting. I had stopped fighting back when he pinned my arms above me and straddled my legs. He ground his erection into my backside. All I could think was "This would have made my dad so ashamed." I hoped with everything that he couldn't see me from heaven. I let out a sob when his calloused fingers slipped between my ass cheeks. _

"_So sweet, Desmond."_

_I whimpered. The hair on his legs was prickly and uncomfortable and his sweat was making his skin stick to mine. I could feel his large organ pressing against the delicate hole on my backside and I cried harder. _

"_No!" I moaned. Pleading. He gripped my shoulder with one hand, releasing my wrists to guide himself roughly into me. I screamed out as he penetrated my virgin entrance. Burning pain consumed my entire being._

"_ohhh. So tight baby" he groaned as if he hadn't heard me. With every thrust I let out another sob or scream. He brought his hand down on my ass cheek, spanking me. _

"_Squeeze me tighter, dirty little whore." He shifted, and then thrust back in, moving at a different angle. He hit something in me that made my whole body clench. _

"_ohhh" he let out with a shuttering breath. He moved there again and again and again. What horrified me more is that as he thrust into me, he reached under me to slowly stroke my shaft. I began filling with blood, hardening under his gross ministrations. _

"_I knew you'd come to like It." he purred lustfully into my ear. I shook my head violently, now on my elbows. _

"_No. No. . ! I- I hate it! I hate it!" I screamed. He slammed into my prostate harder, stroked me faster, and it happened, with tears running down my cheeks and my nails buried deep in the skin of my wrist, I came_.

Screaming loudly, I violently turned in bed. Sam grabbed me and pulled me to his chest. "DES! DESMOND WAKE UP!" his voice boomed. My eyes opened and sobs echoed around the room. Sam had me cradled close to his chest. I shuddered and gasped for breath, not recognizing my surroundings at first. Sam smoothed my hair and cooed into my ear. The warmth of my imprint surrounded me and somewhat calmed my pounding heart.

The memories brought me back to the place deep inside me. The one locked in my mind, away from my thoughts. The pain and regret that made me ache with hate. I burned with disgust for myself. I needed out. Sam's room felt cramped and stuffy and my mind was hazed. Dread pooled in my stomach and my mind pounded with fear. I could still smell him on my skin; feel his semen cover my tainted insides. Twisting out of my beloved's grasp, I jumped for the door and shut myself in the bathroom. I heard him faintly call after me but I couldn't have him. I was bad. Revolting. I listened to the springs of the mattress squeak down the hall and knew he was getting off the bed. I twisted the lock closed, giving me a false, but comforting protection against the outside world as I began my search. Opening drawer after drawer looking for something, anything I could use. Finally, on the top shelf of his medicine cabinet, I found then. A pair of sharp blue handled scissors. He knocked on the door.

"Desmond, open the door."

"I-I can't!" I opened them carefully.

He shook the handle.

I put the point to my left wrist, an inch below the base of my palm.

He pounded again with his fist. "Desmond, please!"

Blood bubbled and dripped. I know he smelt it. He could hear it splat on the floor.

Silence came from the other side. Did he hate me now? Did he think I was disgusting? Probably. I let the scissors clang to the floor and my heart sunk in my chest. I laid my forehead on the white granite counters and felt my lungs expand and contract. Shaking, I unlocked the door with a gentle click. Seconds passed before Sam pushed it open. He was on his knees, looking worried and sorrowful. I couldn't look him in the eyes. I was bleeding in four places on my arm, but he pulled me into a tight hug.

"You're okay. Nothing can hurt you. I promise."

…-…

**Seth pov**

I looked into the deep brown, horribly confused eyes of my sister, silently pleading her not to tell anyone about the naked man that was lying across my chest. She closed her eyes, let out a breath and rubbed her temples.

"Get him out. Now. Then we're going to have a talk about this and you're going to tell me everything."

"O-Okay."

**Sorry it's really short. I'll try to get the next one out soon. I update this when I want to because I will write bad chapters if I don't want to write. Thank you for the comments you guys left. And I will continue this. I love you guys! ALSO! On my wattpad and my fictionpress "OnlyAugustine" is my story called "Prison's such a bitch" its good so you should check it out!**


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